8th Grade Red Pen Teacher

In the 8th grade, we had a teacher who red-penned each and every mistake and each and every paper we handed in.

Self esteem be damned.

Punctuation, grammar and spelling had to be perfect and it became a breathtaking reward to get back a paper with no red on it, where she wrote, "Nice job!"

It was among the best 'trophies' I had.

This was in a by-gone era where awards went for achievement rather than for just...showing up.

We played "tag" and had to apologize to teachers when we interrupted class.  We were held responsible for homework not handed in and were expected to work for spending money. The only kids who got an "allowance", that is, money for breathing, were on television.

Recently, I read a report from one who holds a MA degree.  The report was riddled with grammatical error and I was tempted to pull out a red pen and send it back with the request that it be re-submitted with corrections.

This, however, might bring a union sanction and a paid trip to a therapist to help her recover her bruised self esteem.  I might have been accused of bullying and asked to provide copies of other reports that I have asked for correction.

Sadly, I let it be.

Someone sent me a professor's statement made on a public forum.  The college professor was making a point, about something I don't recall, because I was focused upon the improper use of "affect" and "effect" and the addition of "irregardless", which, my spell checker shows feint interest in.  His speciality is teaching young children how to read.

Why must I be so judgmental?  Why can't I embrace the the new text-speak language?

I think of the Chinese joke:

What do you call one who speaks three languages?

Trilingual.

What do you call one who speaks two languages?

Bilingual.

What do you call one who can only speak one language?

An American.

I look back, all those years ago, and wish I had worked harder at Latin.

Case of rum, case of rum, what can one do, anyway?