Statement Analysis: Passivity in Sex Abuse Victims

                         

                   

                                   Passivity in Sex Abuse Victims
                                                          by Peter Hyatt

In doing a large volume of research on adult victims of childhood sexual abuse, and interviewing a number of victims,  over the years, I have found a trend that seems supported by the literature:

passivity in language...passivity in ongoing behavior.  

The language is verbalized reality (Sapir) and it is this verbalized reality that we enter into the statement with.  

Passivity in language is often a signal that the subject is attempting to avoid responsibility.  When dealing with adult victims of childhood sexual abuse, the context for our analysis will be critical.  

When a child is sexually abuse during the critical brain developmental years, there appears to be an underdevelopment in certain parts of the brain.  Science is just beginning to understand the magnitude of destruction that takes place when a child is sexually abuse.

 Many victims have made great strides and has overcome a great deal via this method of journaling. It is in this journaling that Statement Analysis is of great assistance, as the adult victims writes in two distinct ways:

1.  What happened to her;
2.  How she felt about what happened to her. 

As this method has been used successfully in mitigating the acute emotional pain of adult victims and in helping them change their self-loathing lifestyles, it is within the language itself that the analysis can help identify specific 'missing' information for the adult victim. 

Of particular interest is that in the women I have interviewed who were sexually abused in childhood, all of them used passivity in language  ("the gun went off....the pen wrote..") which is a way of avoiding responsibility. 

I have had to use my training to catch the passive language and get the woman to revisit it.  Every one of them has described it like this: 

"I was watching myself being touched..." as if floating above the scenario.  Yet, this was not true.  They did not 'watch' the abuse, but were actively being abused at the time.  The women then often used the same passive language to describe their own adult self destructive activities, as if they were watching themselves being promiscuous, or taking drugs, or engaging in deliberately dangerous behavior.  

Statement Analysis can help break the pattern of self destruction.  

 I have found many women who have described not only the abuse in this manner, but their own subsequent behavior with passive language ---which is not always truthful.  What to do with an adult victim of childhood sexual abuse who is not truthful about her experience and about subsequent behavior?  How does one remove the "stinger" of pain that holds years of hyper vigilance, or self destructive behavior (including promiscuity, substance abuse, self loathing, sabotaging of happiness, and so on).  

In interviewing victims of childhood sexual abuse, the passivity may not be simply an avoidance of responsibility, but an avoidance of pain via a method of thinking, developed during the critical childhood years. 

It appears that the passive language was learned in childhood as a way of escaping the emotional pain.  The person lies to herself by this disassociation and is then left unable to relieve the pressure on the brain unless confronted by what actually happened (removing the sting).  This means that when the adult victim recounts her story, unless the counselor/pastor/therapist/friend/spouse/etc has training specific to Statement Analysis, there is a good chance the 'missing' information will be...
missed. 

What was happening to the child was so emotionally painful that the brain 'took a holiday' while the abuse was taking place.  In abusive situations where no physical pain was present, the child victim likely suffered even more so, due to the confusion now inflicted upon her due to the emotional trauma and the lack of physical pain.  (This is why "good touch; bad touch" is no longer taught to children as the "bad touch" is not always physically painful.  In cases where sensations were felt, the victim was often left with even greater emotional conflict due to the confusion associated with the lack of physical pain.)

This is yet another reason why I urge those who help others to take this training. 

Listen to how some of the victims described their latter activities, as they, as teens and adults, acted out 

their early childhood abuse, without realizing what they were doing while in self-destructive mode.  (The self-loathing must be broken by causing the victim to see the source of it:  the original childhood abuse). 

Note passivity and distancing language.  Recall our studies on "doors" and "coverings" (blankets, clothing, towels, etc) 

"I would put myself in danger with men who would abuse me.  I guess I just wanted to have some kind of affection, even if it was bad.  They had sex with me."

"Does anybody know what it is like to be wanted for only your body parts?  Your mind, your heart, your abilities are irrelevant. I have hated and destroyed my own body.  If it wasn't for my body, I would be safe."

"For as long as I remember, my father used to watch me dress and undress.  There were no doors in our house. He would stand in the doorway leaning up against the door jam and watch..."

How often does this victim say "door" before the professional sees the connection in language?
Notice, next, how the victim's language shows that her body and herself appear like two different people:  

"I spent my childhood years trying to keep my body safe.  I went to sleep mummy like, wrapped up in a blanket..."

Victims report feeling betrayed, not only by the perpetrators, who were often people to be trusted, like their own fathers, but feeling betrayed by their own bodies.  This is reflected in the language as they seem to talk about themselves, and their bodies, as two different people. 

"It was my body that betrayed me.  My body that made them treat me that way.  It needed to be punished, it deserved to die.  I decided that my body really wasn't me."

Victims of childhood sexual abuse are, by stats everywhere, more likely to go on to self destructive behaviors, including promiscuity, substance abuse, prostitution, serial relationships ending in harm, and will often lead them to career failures; deliberate failures to 'punish' the body.  When an adult victim journals about her life, she is able to find:

1. Missing information.  

It comes out in the language.  If she has read here, or studies analysis, she will know that "something is not right, here, and over here..." and so on.  It is in these places where work must be done. 

2.  Pattern recognition.  She may be able to see that choice after choice in life fulfilled a pattern of self destruction. 

3.  Source.  The language may guide her back to the source:  unresolved childhood abuse where lessons ingrained deep within her were both immoral and destructive. 

For some women, these discoveries lead to a profound sense of freedom, including freedom from depression, which, of itself, often leads to better physical health and a better life. 

It is reflected in the language.  

For people of faith who believe that mankind was created in the Image of God, childhood sexual abuse sentences each victim to a life time of suffering, along with each human that loves the victim.  The assault against the Image Bearer of God is deeper than any of us know.  Science appears to be just learning what damage is done to the brain.  The passivity one hears must be explored for possible disassociation tendencies.  The context is critical:  if abuse and subsequent behavior, with a direct line back to the abuse is described in passive language, that "area" in the statement must be explored so the victim can mitigate some of the pain.

Hence, the many warnings to parents to keep their children safe.