The "Animosity" Between Dylan Redwine's Parents

Mark Redwine would have us believe that Dylan may have run off, for a few months now, with no contact with his family or his close friends, because he and Elaine, Dylan's mother, bicker.  Will Dr. Phil be played by Mark Redwine into this scheme?

Much has been written (and said) about the contentious relationship between missing 13 year old Dylan Redwine's parents, Elaine and Mark. 

It is an unfair characterization. It's too simple-minded.  

It is also the characterization that Mark Redwine recently attempted to use in his deceptive interview. Now they are going to appear together on the Dr. Phil Show.  Will this be a 'love fest' of "can't we all just get along?" tangent, or will Dr. Phil see through the attempt to control?

When a man is violent, there is a desire to shift blame away from himself, or in the least, to share it.  Previous reports about domestic violence include Mark Redwine portraying himself as a victim of an assault by his son.  

This is nonsense. 

Abusers seek, more than anything else, control.  In fact, it is not always the violence that controls the woman, it is often the threat of violence that causes her to 'walk on eggshells' and avoid upsetting the abuser. Thus is the case of Dylan Redwine, in which, after visiting with his violent father, has not been seen since. 

Here is Mark Redwine's statement:  

“It’s frustrating for all of us because there’s so little to go on,” said Mark Redwine. “The tensions are very high between all of us.”

"All of us" seeks to portray him with Elaine.  He is not "with" Elaine.

Context:  Mark Redwine is alone.  He is supposed to be speaking for himself.  In fact, not only is he alone, but he is embittered towards his ex wife; very distant from her. 

Note the use of "all of us" is not only additional wording, it is repeated, making it sensitive.  Who would think it is not frustrated?  Of course a parent of a missing child would be frustrated at not finding him.  Why the need to assert this?  The need is what makes it a sensitive statement. 

But notice the desire to make it seem like it is "us" causing tension.  Is it really "us" causing the problems?  This is a desire to shift blame and responsibility, and to force Elaine Redwine to share it.  

We have seen how, when one is talking for himself, goes to the plural, there is often a desire to share guilt or responsibility.  This is something every mom of every teenager knows intuitively.  For Mark Redwine, he wants the public to view this as a bickering couple, instead of seeing him as violent, controlling, angry and...

deceptive about Dylan. 

If this is not bad enough, look how far the deceptive person will go in shifting blame onto his ex wife:

“My ex-wife and I both agree that Dylan is not the kind of kid that would run away but I also think that there’s a possibility that Dylan was torn between his parents."

Now he would like the public to blame them both for Dylan's disappearance as if a 13 year old would go missing, for months, because his parents bicker.  This is not only deceptive, it is foolish to even believe the public would buy into this. 

Expect Dr. Phil to say, "hey, we need to put this behind us, and unite for Dylan's sake" which is also folly. 

Mark Redwine knows exactly what happened to Dylan and where Dylan can be found. It is not time for unity.  By saying this, Dr. Phil will play right into the abuser's hands. 

Abusive men love to share and shift blame.  They often blame themselves, over the top, in order to gain sympathy. 

Abusive men are often charmers.  They love to evoke feelings of pity, and be seen as "misunderstood" and will even portray themselves as "the good guy, taking the high road" when it is the wife and children who have suffered under this double-handed player causing her to sit in utter frustration and disbelief on how, yet once again, he has "gotten away with it." The days of 'wink, wink, you know how women are' should not be revived for the Dr. Phil Show.  This is not about Elaine Redwine. 

Looking at Mark Redwine's statements, including the analysis conclusions, causes me to believe that Dylan was not asleep when Mark left; he was deceased.  This is why we hear no quotes from Redwine about Dylan after this point in time.  The text messages Mark Redwine sent after Dylan's death are transparent attempts to build an alibi.  

Dr. Phil will not help if he steps in to play counselor and peacemaker.  He will find himself unwittingly aligning himself with the abuser and doing precisely what the control abuser wants him to do:  help him blame Elaine. 

Elaine Redwine and Dylan's sibling are the victims here, just as Dylan, himself, a sweet boy who had his whole life ahead of him, is the victim of the rage of violence. Dylan wanted to be with his friends more than his father.  Dylan loved his mother, which enrages his father. Dylan, according to description, was like his mother more than he was like his father. 

Whatever the trigger, it was more than what Mark Redwine could abide.  

Elaine said, "He's a wonderful. Loving and selfless child " while Mark said, "who knows what goes through a 13 year old's head?   with its subtle disparagement of his victim as if 13 year olds are utterly without sense. I bet his mother could have answered this question.  Most parents do know what goes on in their 13 year olds' heads.  Then again, most parents would not seek to blame or disparage, even slightly, their missing child.  

Do you recall the teaching of Dr. Adams on 911 calls in which, in domestic homicides, the guilty caller will, at times, disparage the victim, even subtly?  

Elaine portrays Dylan as "loving" and "selfless" while Mark Redwine portrays him in a slightly negative light, as if being 13 was a crime and would cause him to run away, for months, without contacting his friends, just because he and Elaine are not getting along. 

“My fear is he’s out there somewhere, able to see what’s going on and he sees the conflict going on between his mom and I,” said Mark Redwine. “I think that’s a huge concern. But who knows what goes through a 13-year-old’s head?.”  Here, Dylan is blamed.  

Why would this be a fear if Dylan was "out there somewhere"?  Wouldn't it be a marvelous comfort rather than believe he is dead?

Dr. Phil, be aware of this technique by abusers.  They have a need to control, including the need to control information and are overly concerned with their image, while the innocent parent is concerned about finding the child. 

We saw this with the incessant defensiveness of Billie Jean Dunn, who, on one side could not stop herself from using foul language and dressing like an inappropriate teenager, while attempting to rehabilitate her image from druggie using negligent mother to "victim" status at the hands of the mean "body language analyst" to the point of threatening suit. 

We saw this with the sensitivity of other parents with guilty knowledge who all showed far more concern with being suspected in the disappearance than they did in finding the child. 

Dr. Phil, do not let Elaine Redwine be pulled into a "joint portrait" of "bickering." It reminds me of the school boy who was behaving but gets lumped in with the misbehaving kids sitting next to him and when he protests, the teacher silences him, as he is unjustly 'lumped' together with the others. 

This is not about bickering or divorced parents not playing nicely together for the sake of their children. 

This is about getting Mark to speak on television.  The more he speaks, the more we will know.  This is about finding Dylan, and finding Justice for Dylan.  

Thus far, we know that searchers should be focused in the areas near or in water, between McDonald's and the home.  We know that what took place between him and Dylan in that time period before 4:30AM was not good.  We know that envy and control, and perhaps even revenge were present. 

Get Mark Redwine to speak.